Hey all. My name is Joshua Waters, I am lifelong athlete, successful businessman/entrepreneur, YouTuber, writer, instructor, blacksmith/metalworker, deep thinker, and a follower of Jesus Christ. I tell you this not to brag, but simply to tell you who I am. And to set the stage for what I am about to tell you. Because today I want to give you an insight into how I think, some of my strengths and weaknesses, and the purpose behind my writings.
Who I Am And How I Think
You see I am an analytically minded person. I am very smart and am a natural problem solver. I also live in my own head much of the time which has its pros and cons. I analyze everything, I constantly have a million thoughts swirling around in my head and I understand things about the world not many people my age understands. But this strength comes with a weakness. It is immensely hard for me to process, express or generally make sense of my emotions. This makes relationships hard for me, as I tend to approach them with a very analytical mindset and sometimes that’s not appreciated. I have worked very hard to overcome this and have gotten a lot better at connecting with people on a more emotional level, and at maintaining my relationships better, but expressing my feelings is still very hard for me. I am also the kind of person that needs to process everything to make sense of it. I cannot rest if something is unprocessed. It is also very hard for me to believe in something or have faith in something if I cannot make sense of it in my head. This leads to problems with my faith in Christ because if someone poses a question to me that I cannot answer, I immediately start doubting my beliefs until I find the answer to that question. Or if no answer is to be found, I must at least reach a conclusion that I can live with. This makes me very flexible and non-exclusive in my beliefs, and I think it helps me to always find the truth. But as you can imagine, this makes my life difficult at times. Everything that challenges my view on something must be processed and analyzed to try to find what makes sense and what is true. This relates to movies, books, videos, conversations, meeting new people, travel, work, unforeseen events, etc. Any experience I have that challenges me in some way or doesn’t make sense to me must be processed by my brain to come to a conclusion about it. Because of this, whenever I can’t manage to understand or process my emotions and feelings, I feel all jumbled up inside.
Why I Write
Sometime last year, I started writing journals to try to help me process the emotions, feelings, and events that happen throughout my life that I need to make sense of, or come to a conclusion about. And the more I wrote, the better I got at expressing my emotions. I have spoken and written a lot in the past 4 years, so I have become a very proficient and precise communicator, but communicating my feelings was a completely different matter. At some point, I came to realize I could accurately express my feelings at a given moment through words on a page, often even better than I could understand them in my head. Something I had never really been able to do before through any form of communication. At first, I simply used these journals as a tool to protect my own sanity, to document my experiences, and to better understand myself. But the better I got, the more I realized that some of these thoughts, a select few of these musings I have about life and my own struggles, could really help someone. I don’t know exactly how yet, but I believe my words will be used to speak to people, to motivate, to encourage, to teach, to tell them they are not alone. I just had a feeling that my words could make a profound impact on the world if only I could find the right avenue to share them. I don’t know how that is going to happen, I don’t know what will come of this, but I really believe God is working in this, if only because of how easily these words are flowing out of me right now. I have been given words to write, and I intend to write them. On top of that I realized this might be a way to share with my friends, the other side of me, that very few people ever see. The struggling side, the broken side, the thoughtful side. This is my way of being honest with who I am. I feel some people who know me in person think I am arrogant or get annoyed with me because I am always showing them up. And I certainly have been blessed with some immense talents and gifts and I have been a good steward of those gifts to the best of my ability. But that is only one part of myself. There is not much physically or mentally that I can’t do. But I have huge deficiencies in other areas. And I need to show people the other part of me. But I can’t express that to people face to face, or through speech. No matter what people think of me, I am a good and honest person, and it chafes me to know that some people can only see the surface part of me and not the deeper part. The talented, put together part, and not the thoughtful, broken part. I believe we are all both of these things. And we cannot be ourselves without the good, and the bad.
Getting Others To Think
Another big goal of my writings is simply to get people to think! We are so busy nowadays (me included), that we don’t make time to think, or we simply let other people think for us. This is not how we should live our lives! No one should tell us how to live our lives, that’s our job and God’s job! My biggest pet peeve in life is those who do not think for themselves or do not come to their own conclusions about life and death. Those are serious issues that will literally determine the way you live your life! We must not let these important questions go unanswered! This has already gotten pretty long, so I’ll stop myself before I go into full-on rant mode and save that for another article. But that is another big part of why I write.
To sum this all up, ultimately, I write to process my feelings as I have found it clears my mind and allows me to see my true emotions better than any other thing. I write as a way of changing the world in my own small way. I write to make my mark. I write to help others. I write to help myself. I write to get people to think. And I write to be honest with who I am. So, when I write an emotional, or weighty article, don’t worry too much about me. I might be down for a moment, but I always get back up. And chances are, writing that article and expressing that emotion is exactly what I needed to pick me up out of the hole I was in and put me back on the right path. In general, I am a very thankful person. I love life and all of the opportunities I have in it. I am not an extremely joyful or innately happy person all the time, but I do enjoy life in my own way, and I do cherish life. I simply acknowledge that I am a broken individual, and through sharing these musings, I hope to reveal to others that everybody is going through something. Nobody is perfect, and no one is alone in their struggles because we all have them!
Well, that is all I have for you today. I hope this article encourages you to take a look at yourself and to see if you really understand what makes you tick. We are very complicated beings. Most of the time I barely understand why I make the choices I do. But I believe that the more we understand ourselves, how we react to various situations and why, the better we can work with our self and others to live life better and to make this world a better place.
I really hope you enjoyed this brief glimpse into the person I am. If you did enjoy, let me know what you thought in the comment section down below, and please consider subscribing to my newsletter below to get notified of future content.
Thanks for reading. Take care, my friends.